August 20, 2015

Chappie (2015)

Dev Patel, Hugh Jackman, Sigourney Weaver


Hmmm... what was the stupidest part of this movie? Was it the name? The ridiculous wannabe gangster vibe of the villains? Hugh Jackman's haircut? The entire plot? When I watch a movie like this, I just have to wonder: did anyone making the movie actually watch the whole thing through?

There are charming parts, I suppose. Chappie himself, despite a terrible name, is a very sweet character. It is entertaining to watch him develop and his transformation from a essentially a toddler to a rebellious teenager is pretty creative. It differentiates his character from other intelligent robots in other movies, like I, Robot.

But pretty much everything outside of Chappie himself is a disaster. Dev Patel (who I fully congratulate for crafting a Hollywood career for himself from one movie) is fine, but it would be nice to see him in a non-geek role. It's so typical to see him as some kind of engineering genius (ahem, The Newsroom) that it hardly even seems like acting at this point. I'm starting to believe that's just who he is as a person.

The "bad guys" are supposed to be over-the-top ridiculous, I'm guessing, because otherwise I can't figure out who wrote their lines. Their entire character is literally unbelievable. I don't believe anyone would dress like that or have those haircuts (even in a sci-fi movie). I don't believe anyone can shoot accurately with the gun cocked to the side. I don't believe three people that idiotic could come up with such a complicated heist plan. And while Yolandi (aka Mommy) was a lot less offensive than Ninja (aka Daddy), I think we're scraping the bottom of the barrel when the comparison is against someone named Ninja. I mean, seriously.

But even the weird wannabe gangster bad guys are tame in comparison to Hugh Jackman, whom I am convinced was blackmailed somehow to appear in this movie. Looking past his mullet (which killed any possible sex appeal he might have gained from being Wolverine) and his bizarre camp counselor outfit, his character is so ridiculous I can't believe this movie isn't a spoof of some kind. His motives are hard to believe, his tactics even more so, and the lack of internal controls and awareness of other employees at a military company of that size are not even remotely possible. Look, I get that people don't watch an action movie about robots for its believability factor, but I really cannot think of the last movie I watched that had a plot this far-fetched. And I'm including Divergent. I just--*smh*--can't even. 

Final word: This movie might even be worse than that other fighting robot one with Hugh Jackman.

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