August 27, 2014

The Hangover Part III (2013)

Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifinakis, Ken Jeong, John Goodman, Melissa McCarthy

Ohhhh...where do I begin with this movie? Or should I say, where should I start? I thought I might attempt try to use simple short, easy words so that my review equalled matched the intellectual cognitive (oh f*ck it!) level of the people who enjoyed this movie. On second thought, anyone who thought this movie was funny probably doesn't read anything beyond Maxim or the label on a bottle of beer, so perhaps I'm in the clear.

On first glance, I thought this movie might have a fighting chance of being slightly better than The Hangover Part II in that it didn't follow the exact same plot at The Hangover. Sadly, without an easy plot already laid out, the movie instead turned into "how many stupid things can we make Zach Galifinakis say and do?"

It's this kind of idiotic movie that made people question whether or not Bradley Cooper was a real actor. He used his good looks and amazing hair to date famous women, which in turn, made him famous, but really no more credible as an actor than JLo than when she did it. But then came the Oscar nominations and the "serious" films, so I thought he'd leave this garbage behind. Apparently easy money is too tempting to maintain professional integrity. And by easy, I mean I'm pretty sure he shot all of his scenes in a total of 3 hours, and that it only took about 2 days beyond that to finish the movie.

The best part of this movie is the soundtrack, which features an array of classic rock to make you feel like this some kind of fun, party movie and not the idiotic some-guys-got-drunk-and-wrote-this epic failure of entertainment this turned out to be. Some people will try and claim the best part of the movie is the appearance by Melissa McCarthy, but they are wrong. She's mildly amusing, I suppose, but I desperately need someone to explain to me the nuanced differences between the crazy character she plays in this movie vs. The Heat vs. Identity Thief vs. Tammy.

Oh, and you know how the movie poster promises this is the end? There's a scene at the end of the credits that dangles the possibility there might be another one. Because that's what the world needs - more full frontal nudity from Ken Jeong.

Final word: A reviewer on IMDB states, "I wish I had spent the 90 minutes reorganizing my garage or deleting old emails." I couldn't have said it better myself.

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