June 1, 2014

First Annual Snarky Awards

In celebration of Snarky Movie Reviews turning two, I have decided that traditional awards cannot encapsulate all the movies I watch over the course of a year - especially the bad ones. And since these are my own awards, I've decided make my picks from the movies I've watched over the last 12 months, not just movies that were released in that time period.

This is me, pretending to be happy about having sat through so many terrible movies I can actually give out awards

This turned out to be one of those cases where I wanted to hand out an individual award to each and every bad movie I watched, but people seem to get enough of that between the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards, People's Choice Awards, SAG Awards, Saturn Awards... you get the picture.

Ultimately, I decided to model restraint and chose only five awards:

The Monster Award 

for the actor who made him/herself ugly in an attempt to be taken more seriously

Ryan Gosling, The Place Beyond the Pines




The Katherine Heigl Award 

for the actor who attempted to single-handedly ruin a movie 

Jodie Foster, Elysium




The New Year's Eve Award 

for the worst ensemble cast movie

35 & Ticking




The Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen Straight-to-DVD Award 


for the worst movie you've never heard of

Playing for Keeps





And finally....

A movie so terrible I decided to name the entire award after it. So without further ado...

The White House Down Award

for a movie so terrible it was hilarious

White House Down, of course. 




It's going to be tough to top that last one next year.

**If anyone has recommendations for categories next year, feel free to send them to me!

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