April 17, 2014

Ironman 3 (2013)

Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Ben Kingsley

My sister once told me she didn't like Robert Downey Jr. because "he looks like someone who would wear boot cut jeans." I'm not entirely sure what that means, but I've always liked Robert Downey Jr. If I had a laminated Top 5 list, Robert Downey Jr. would be my first alternate. (In case you're wondering, my hypothetical 5 would consist of Josh Lucas, Marat Safin, Ryan Gosling, Allen Iverson, and - as anyone who knows me in real life - Kiefer Sutherland, of course.)

I don't, however, care for Gwyneth Paltrow. I'm not really sure anyone does. I have no idea how she maintains that newsletter of hers in which she patronizingly tells you everything you're doing in life is wrong, but somehow, GOOP lives. Awesome name, btw, Gwyneth. GOOP.

My point is that despite all of Gwyneth's postulating on how to dress, eat, and live, she doesn't seem to realize that whomever made the decision to dye her anemic blonde hair to a dark strawberry blonde knows a hell of a lot more about how to style people than anyone on the GOOP staff. I don't know how the styling team does it, but they somehow make Gwyneth look like someone who is not completely out of place in a movie.

I could have done without the shots of her in a bra (even the Ironman stylists couldn't pull that one off), but I suppose it could have been worse - Katherine Heigl could have been cast instead.

In regards to the movie itself - well, it's clearly a sequel. I'm not sure if writers get lazy and figure the movie will make an easy $100M+ off the title alone, so they don't bother to get creative with the script, or if by the third movie, they have literally run out of new ideas. The plot is not spectacular. The "plot twists" are mostly predictable and there are a fair number of lame action movie cliches (like the villain monologuing the master plan before offing someone). The coolest part of the movie is imagining what life would be like if we actually had all the technology utilized by Tony Stark throughout. It's as if the movie is mocking the outdated projection touch screen Tom Cruise uses in Minority Report. 'Oh, you think that'll be seen in the future as cutting edge technology? That's cute.'

The other highlight? Gandhi Ben Kingsley's appearance, which was nothing short of brilliant. Frankly, if Tom Cruise could garner a Golden Globe nomination for his 3 minute appearance in Tropic Thunder, Ben Kingsley could have at least gotten some attention for his role in this movie. He was certainly a better actor than Guy Pearce, who reflected his talent on the level of Keanu Reeves as anything other than a stoner.

Final word: This movie desperately made me wish I had paid more attention in science class. It also made me desperately wish there will not be an Ironman 4.

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