January 21, 2014

Don Jon (2013)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Scarlett Johansson



True story: I once had a [much, much] older co-worker pull me into a conference room to tell me he thought I looked like Scarlett Johansson. He then followed it up, "Don't worry, I think she's really attractive." Because of course, that makes it much less awkward and not at all sexual harassment. 

I relay the story not to brag that I've been told I look like someone who is a perennial mainstay on Maxim's Hop 100 List, but precisely because I don't think she's hot. I find there to be something inherently trashy about her. Which brings me to this movie...

Both Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Scarlett Johansson are such naturals as trashy Jersey types in this movie I rather wonder if they're not secretly like this in real life: Scarlett Johansson wearing skintight mini dresses and snapping gum constantly, Joseph Gordon-Levitt in skintight cutoff t-shirts, reciting prayers while doing bicep curls at the gym... Each scene in this movie brings into question new wardrobe, language, and dialogue choices that leave you wondering... WTF? I quickly discovered that the answer to each and every question that arose throughout the course of the movie could be answered with a simple one word explanation:

JERSEY.  
                                                                                  
It explains everything. That leopard print dress Scarlett Johansson is wearing? Jersey. The fact that Tony Danza is in the movie? Jersey. Total dedication to the gym and an affinity for clean sheets? Jersey.

Jersey Shore is not dead, my friends. It has be reincarnated into a movie and that movie is called Don Jon.  Except that this movie is a genuine piece of work with professional actors in it and Jersey Shore is well, you know. And there's no Snookie in this movie.

Final word: Jaw-dropping. In so. many. ways.

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