January 29, 2013

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

Christian Bale, Anne Hathaway, Marion Cotillard, Joseph Gordon-Levitt

This is a superhero movie. 
Superheros are not real. 
This entire movie is based on a comic book.

I understand all of these facts. Yet...

The plot made me cringe. It was like all the success of the previous Christian Bale Batman movies put too much pressure on this one and Christopher Nolan decided to work every single plot idea he had into this one script. Was there no editing done here?!? Was he trying to make Batman into a superhero version of Inception? In fairness, many of the plot questions/holes were answered right before the end of the movie. But that didn't help me from rolling my eyes right up until that point. A surprise ending does not make up for two and a half hours waiting for something good to happen.

But let's move onto other things that bugged me about the movie. Griping about Batman's voice is so two movies ago. Sure, it's annoying (I mean, why is it like that?!?), but apparently it's also contagious. Bane's voice is... perplexing. It's like it carries its own echo or something. And yes, I know it's played by Tom Hardy, who is English, which is why Bane has an accent, but it doesn't seem to fit.

The one bright spot? I didn't hate Anne Hathaway as Catwoman! I'm pretty much always surprised when I don't hate her in a movie. I even commented a few weeks ago that she wasn't believable in a sexy role. I still don't think she's sexy, but I do think the make-up artists made her look really good throughout the movie. She should hire them for her regular life (maybe they'll convince her to stop wearing blood-red lipstick that makes her look like she belongs in the Twilight movies). I'm also happy they didn't make her wear a vinyl bodysuit and lick people. (I know it was the early 90's, but that's really no excuse.)

Final word: Wow am I glad I didn't go to the theater to watch this.

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