June 10, 2012

GMC Day 10: New Year's Eve (2011)

everyone in Hollywood, apparently

Oh, where to start, where to start. There's the name: New Year's Eve. I'm assuming this trend of naming movies after notable holidays came from that other ensemble movie, Valentine's Day, which stars many of the same people and follows the same predictable formula of trying to awkwardly pretend like everyone's storyline is somehow intertwined into an overarching theme while cramming in as many star cameos and possible. That makes a lot of sense, since I just looked it up and both movies share a director and writer. 

But however horrible you thought Valentine's Day was, New Year's Eve is exponentially worse. (If you liked Valentine's Day, well, then, you're probably one the people that propelled this idiotic movie to the $142M+ gross revenue it generated). Renting this movie felt like driving straight toward a cliff's edge and you know it's a terrible thing to do and you're probably going to die from it, yet you can't stop yourself. It was almost as if I could hear my future self screaming "Noooooooooooooooooooooo" as I handed the disc to the Blockbuster cashier to put under my account. And yet... I sat through it. All 118 minutes of it. Yes, this movie is two hours long. I have no idea how.

Look, I have nothing against ensemble casts as a rule (Love Actually probably makes my all-time Top 10 list), but why do directors think this is an excuse to just use as many famous people as they can pay to appear and think that's enough? I can't even dissect the plot because, well, there is no plot to dissect. But the love pairings! Oh the shame! I don't want to "spoil" the "surprise ending," but suffice it to say it is predictable, boring, and overall, just a train wreck of a movie. I just hope I can overcome the trauma to continue my movie challenge.

Final word: No matter how little you expect of this movie, it's still worse than that.

The Great Movie Challenge - read it from the beginning here.

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